bubct222's Xanga

my speech

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 09:27:05 GMT

I'm not going to post my speech draft here since it contains some personal information, but I have to say, when talking to someone about the accomplishments in my life, I really have done a lot of different things. At times I feel like I could do anything. In fact talking to someone about my childhood brought back some interesting memories, such as:

Doing jigsaw puzzles at the age of 4 (albeit only 4 pieces large!)
Playing 5 sports + piano lessons year round. (It really gets complicated when you throw in basketball clinic, clarinet lessons, math team, volunteer work on top of school)
Carrying around my logic problem book and doing them in the car, while i waited for parents, when I was bored...(true story!)
Wanting to be a doctor just to look in people's mouths (hey i was 3!)

These are really insignificant to some people, but honestly I don't know anyone who would carry around a logic problem book (it's like a sudoku book without the numbers and more words) except me. After talking to a coworker who loves to travel, it really made me think about what more I'm capable of doing. Traveling does sound nice (expensive...) but exciting. I have to start making plans so I have more things to look forward to. :)

Dance

Fri, 19 Jun 2009 09:45:43 GMT

I don't care what anybody says, I'm obsessed with the show So You Think You Can Dance (SYTYCD).

Now I didn't watch last season (season 4) But i've been watchign videos of some of the dances. There is just one dance that I keep replaying over and over and over. Now I understand this happens with music but really, a dance?
Accompanied by a great song "No Air" by Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown, it defeinatly makes this lyrical hiphop one of my favorites to watch. I guess I would consider the song R&B and well I'm a sucker for R&B dances because it's such a soft side of hip hop.
I've probably watched over 10 different versions of this dance by the same couple. They performed at different places during their SYTYCD tour in 2008. And to think it all started by wanting to know why the winner was the winner. I didn't even watch any of the dances last season, but I feel the urge to download the season to watch it in higher quality on my tv (vs youtube).

For the sake of linking here's the video in probably the best quality I could find (with a little intro). It's the first (and only) result.

Other dances I particularly enjoyed from season 5. I'll embed this one from yotuube, because the quality is actually decent.

Again, the soft hiphop is a win.

And finally, completely unrelated to R&B, someone I thought was a phenomenal dancer but didn't make it into the top 20 because he was under contract with Miami City Ballet company. Alex Wong!

Enjoy!

Scheduling

Fri, 05 Jun 2009 10:55:04 GMT

If you know me well enough, then you should know what i'm talking about

Managing my team's schedule and managing my own schedule....is difficult. It's a puzzle. It's problem solving. It's analysis, communication and organization. But weirdly....I have a sense of power. To be able to switch around ppl and myself at will and ask people to compromise might sound rather controlling until you find that you are actually switching your own schedule to accomodate for them. Is it at that point you lose control of their schedule and find that they are controlling yours??? Probably, but ultimately putting your foot down doesn't work all the time.
Because:

1) Not everyone is getting paid for planning for you. (but maybe i should start charging!)
2) Because money is not the incentive, happiness meter must be kept above average or mildly average of 6-7 hearts out of 10. When the people grow weary, so does production.
3) Volunteering does not imply committment. Volunteers are not forced to do things but volunteer out of necessity or desire. Putting that foot down can provide that extra force tipping the scales making your weight too much for you to handle. (see how i made a long pun!!)

So what's the benefit?

The experience i'm getting. I think we would agree that unpaid experience if relevant to personal positive growth, is a good 'investment' granted you agree that it is relevant for any long term goal.
And the vision. People can support a need once or twice, but will support a cause for a long period of time to see it grow and move forward. People love progress, a journey, a good story. Although people would approach it from many angles, the angle I take is the angle that pushes me forward.

But I have to be careful that it's forward that I want to go. Maybe I need to start reorienting my direction first.

1:45am and still scheduling. my entry might have been incohesive. I think i'm tired. It's a busy week for me. I can't wait until Sunday when I can sleep. ^O^ *yawn*

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**EDIT*
I thoguht about deleting some of my post out of fear that it doesn't make sense. (some people are picky) But I think it'll be okay. If there's discrepencies talk to me about it and we can chat over a cup of coffee that you will buy for me. =p

Saturday, May 09, 2009

Sat, 09 May 2009 10:21:43 GMT

I think it would be interesting how the world would operate if everyone had to communicate through music.
Although I think in the world I envision, I assume that everyone would evoke some emotion as they expressed their music. But I guess that's not any different than the world now.

I never really pay attention to lyrics, but everytime I listen to Chris Brown's "Forever" there's always a string of lines that I really like listening to. I'm not really sure if ti's because of the way he sings it, or if it's how the words are phrased. I think it's in the bridge:

"...what a beautiful lady
No "if"s, "and"s or "maybe"s
I'm releasing my heart and it's feeling amazing
There's no one else that matters
you love me and I won't let you fall girl..."

Now it's strange that I don't really think about the lines before or after since it's like mid sentence. I think maybe it's just the way the melody changes at that point that makes me stop what i'm doing just to listen to those lines.
Aside from that, the only lines I hate listening to are " Double your Pleasure, Double your Fun." The thoughts of spearment gum run through my head which sort of kills it for me.

I admit that the song is pretty catchy and has the electo-singing incorporated (but i know Chris Brown CAN sing and doesn't need any sort of enhancement). And I've also seen dance moves to this song choreographed by ppl online, on youtube specifically, which I have attempted to copy in the privacy of own home or personal space when I think nobody is looking.

Still, I like listening to this song.

If the world had to communicate through music though I could see certain parallels to the current world. People would still flock to the talented ones. And the ones who may not be gifted in music become loners or stick together to create some sort of noise to fit in. Or maybe they create Emo music lol.

I dunno it's just a thought. This post is not meant to offend anyone. If you're emo please don't kill yourself. Create music to bitch about it (or at least emo blog sheesh!)!

no really i'm sorry if i offend anyone. They are simply thoughts. ;)

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Thu, 30 Apr 2009 10:03:46 GMT

sometimes i wonder who actually reads my blogs.

If they do it must not be comment worthy.... OR my comments to them are not reply worthy. If i replied to your blog in the last two days i'm not talking about you btw ;P.... that is.... if you actually read this.

Hishoku no Sora

Wed, 18 Mar 2009 10:08:53 GMT

There are some days I listen to a song over and over because it makes me feel sad.

Today is one of those days.

Links

Sat, 07 Mar 2009 21:06:25 GMT

I think there's always a phase where certain links circulate around a college campus since ppl are linking them to each other. Then they reach outside to other campus and become viral in those areas. I think I recall seeing links from ppl whom I had already sent to other people. however...

I was at work at recalled a few memories on some links received.

One time when I lived in a semi-apartment at Purdue Someone had sent me a link that led to two pictures where i had to identify the differences. The low hum of the lights in the supposed flash game was rather annoying though. My roommate who sat behind me asked me a question where I proceeded to take my headphones of and turn around to address her concern. So as she asked her question to me she stopped mid sentence with eyes like a deer seeing headlights proceeded with a "whoaaaaa...." My expression displayed a puzzled look as I asked "what?" She said " your screen flashed some demonic monster" I felt a little sick at that point because I'd have to do the "don't look now" motion and turn in slow motion just to satiate my curiosity, despite my utter aversion to scary screaming monsters that pop up randomly. As i turned I saw a sickly green demonic face sprawled on my screen. I literally had to squint to close it because i didn't want to have to have that image in my mind at a late hour before I slept. however, I'm thankful that my roommate witnessed it first and not me :P She's not fazed by those things, but me on the other hand... BUT I did the stupid thing, because curiosity killed the Christine, and proceeded to watch accompanied with headphones JUST to see what it looked like. WHY ??? I don't know...People do stupid stuff when they are curious. And yea...well i squinted so it was kinda like >___< but the sight still shook me up.....Not doing that again.

A few days after this happened, I was up on a weekend at 4am while chatting with some friends who live on the west coast (3 hours difference). I used to play a game called Utopia back in the day where I'd chat on IRC with about 20 other people. One of them sent a link and being a 4am fool that i was I clicked the link. The link led to an interesting animation about a stick figure sitting on a green pasture. Accompanied with a very relaxing background music, clouds rolled by and a red balloon appeared on the side then....SCREEEEACTH!...MY entire screen was replaced with some what appeared to be a sick-looking aged female screaming death. It kinda felt like slo-mo again, because the hair on my back literally raised up. My eyes grew wide O_O and I was definitely scared shitless... I couldn't stop saying the F-word because that's what happens when I encounter high stress, such as having some huge ugly face scream in your headphones after watching something "peaceful" at 4am. Not only that but you get delusional and nonsensical at that hour. I was ultimately pissed off and ranted in IRC for a good hour cursing the vile person for sending such a thing. And now,...I hate seeing those things. People think it's funny seeing other ppl react to it.

In high school I was in a computer lab when I saw two ppl from band, the female with the headphones watched THE infamous flash. And then I heard her scream, the girl. She literally screamed out loud, pushed herself away from the desk on her rolly chair as the headphones toppled off her head, and her guy friend all the while laughing at her. Although the scene of it all was kinda chuckle worthy since she was surrounded by a good 15 ppl in the lab including the teacher, I think the whole idea is stupid. From both ends. PPL can die from being frightened because of the heart stopping, however it's stupid to think that such a thing is something to worry about. But HEY I WAS REALLY SCARED! The feeling is an experience though. I've never felt so scared where the hairs on the back of my head felt like they were standing up. I think my blood pressure went through the roof and i lost color in my face. Still, it's not something I'd want to happen again. It made me wary of clicking links again and I know I probably should avoid those virus packed potentials, sometimes they are epic links. But yea, tricking people into watching them by saying that "oh this is such a funny link!" or "Don't worry this isn't a scary video!" Bleh...dis-inclined to believe....

Fair warning: If you send me a link like that I will hate you forever. If not, I just won't talk to you for a good while.

music

Tue, 24 Feb 2009 06:41:28 GMT

You have one guess as to what song I'm listening to over and over right now.
hints:

It is of "pop" genre

it's a wonderful life?

Wed, 10 Dec 2008 11:04:22 GMT

So that movie, it's a wonderful life, if you've seen it, you will know that it contains elements about what would happen if you were never born. George Bailey was shown to have quite an influence over his family and community. If he wasn't born, things would be much different.

Now...if you were never born, do you think the world would continue turning? Will anything be different? Will your friends still be friends? Will they be doing what they do or will they even be alive without you? Maybe they actually become better friends without you. You never really know what kind of an influence one has over you or vice versa.
I'd like to think I have made a positive impact on the people around me. But Then again, I wonder if people would actually be friends if I wasn't there. Probably, because I take them all away :P jkjk

In any case I think the world would still function without me. But I think I stll have had some influence in one way or another.

I have a sinking feeling sometimes, that life will turn out ...hm...not as great as I would hope. And then there are other times where i think I'm going to be something great and make it big..but not ...tooo big.

Hopefully...I'm making a positive impact. I know i've wronged here and there and I do regret some things I've said and done. Those are times I wish i could turn back the pages and rewrite history but I really can't. I can only apologize, move on, and really hope for the best.

just a bunch of thoguhts jumbled if anything. =)

Random

Thu, 04 Dec 2008 09:08:04 GMT

This is a pretty random entry,,... but i was looking at videos and pictures of cosplayers. I have to say that the costumes they create are completely amazing. I can't sew for beans (well...maybe for beans but maybe not for myself), but the craftmenship behind the costumes are impressive. It makes me wonder if I'd ever make a costume to portray a favorite anime charecter. I think I might have if I was exposed to different people and interests. However at this point i doubt I'd ever start. Although watching these skits makes it interesting to try. I always loved doing skits in Japanese.

well it was a fleeting thought for attention. I probably would feel too embaressed to do anything like that now unless I was reborn into anything i wanted several times to try a different path with my life. I wonder what I could have been had I been steered in different directions. I guess anything I wanted. Maybe some things better than others since there are some genetic restrictions and physical limitations. Assuming I was the same genetically (althoguh growing up learning about skin care would affect how i look now wouldn't it!) But I mean really...I guess it's interesting to think about how life could be different BUT I don't think I dislike my life now necessarily. I'm kind of content, but there's always more in store that I'm trying to find. You can only grow when you try those new things. You learn so much about what you can and cannot do. I personally feel I can do almost anything given time and effort. Unfrotuantly life is too short for that and we have to focus on something we THINK we're going to like and be semi-good at. I felt that way about Engineering in a way. I wanted to try every major and sift through the ones I didn't like, but I don't have the money or the time for that.

Which jumps me to another topic. Passionate people are lucky because once they find what they love, they follow it with everything they have. I think I would choose passion over personal skill-set....maybe. I dunno I find that having a vision that even you may find difficult to accomplish, people are more willing to support it because they can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Also because they might be too stubborn for them to realize that they may never reach that light, but NONETHELESS it's still supported (whether they find out the hard way or not). It's admirable so long as it reasonably leads somewhere I think... I'm mindlessly typing at the moment because a lot of thoughts kind of rush into my head right now at midnight.

I thoguht about deleting this entry again, but I'll just leave it. Maybe i'll look back at this entry and discover what a kook I was to think this. Actually if I were to reread this, it probably wouldn't make sense. But I guess while listening to nico nico douga (mmmm well... it's something anime, so if you're curious you could just google it), accompanied with the cosplay video watching,.... [incomplete sentence].

.....

I just realized that cosplaying is hella expensive or can be dependant on how elaborate your costume is. hmm... yea i don't think I could make my costume, it would burn a hole in my pocket -___- But it looks like it would be fun to wear.

wow...my thought process kind went all over the place. The second paragraph has way too many "I"s . gnight.